A few nights past, Hannah and I had a shocking and somewhat entertaining surprise in our front yard. While I was preparing for bed Hannah was in another room ironing, when all of a sudden I heard a loud "screech." For a moment I thought maybe Hannah had dropped the iron and let out a little squeal. No big deal. It was only seconds later Hannah had called for me to come look out the front window. I figured maybe there was a beautiful full moon. Shes really into those celestial moments. Nothing new, its fun. As I approached the window, strobes of blue were filling the room.
UFO?
Nah. We all know UFO's dont have blue lights but white. Ruled out.
But in fact, it was the whole cast of COPS in my front yard. Ok, not really. But there were three cop cars blocking the entrance into my driveway and one actually parked in my driveway.
So what did i do?
I hurried and disposed of all my drugs, and told my illegal immigrants to hide in the basement.
Just kidding. I dont do drugs, and as for my immigrant friends, I told them to escape out the back and run.
Just kidding, again.
No, but really. The cops thing was quite real. The kicker was not only was there a cop car in my driveway with his other buddies blocking the entryway, but there was an SUV, Ford Explorer to be exact, parked ON my front lawn. Now I'm not kidding.
And as I peered out the window, a male African-American man was being frisked against the back quarter of his vehicle. Ten minutes past, and the officer began to run his sobriety tests. That was the entertaining part. Not really because the man seemed quite intoxicated, but because the test he was issuing were very complex. To the point where a sober being would have a mess just listening to the instructions. Cuffed and convicted, they took him away, only to leave a car still sitting in my yard. Soon enough, a tow man came and rescued my lawn.
Through my intense audible abilities(also known as eaves-dropping) I was able to acquire the following:
The male had stopped in the middle of an intersection during a green light and proceeded to just sit there. Unfortunately(more like fortunately), a police car just happened to be driving along the same route. Flipping his lights on sparked some type of fight or flight mechanism in the intoxicated young mans judgement/situational assessment. He decided it was best to out run a cop, drunk. So he drove about a half mile down, turn into my driveway, hit a tree, and wound up in my front yard. Luckily, he just barely hit the tree. Any further left, no more than a foot and he would have totaled his car, and been left probably seriously injured.
Moral of the story, Green means Go.
Oh yea, I was also asked by one of the officers if I was Craig. I told him no. I guess, according to the inebriated individual Craig lives here.
Should have took a picture.
